Louisa's Mother

Beyond all the things we want for ourselves, are all those things we want for our children. When we arrive at the moment of recognition that we've not gone as far in life as we would have expected, and admitted that our mistakes limited our progress, the mothers in us vow to benefit from our lessons learned; that our kids make it when we could not.

Thus, in her determination to preserve her family, BJ reached out to the farthest corners of the universe with a Mother's anguish.  Criss/Crossing tangents of emotional connectedness, she touched us with a compelling question: "What Would I Do?"

 Voice of All, the Universe, resonnated John Lennon's

"Come Together, right now, over me."

Without consciously understanding it, we are each others' prayers answered. 

First bringing comfort, then distributing the pain to permit a sharing of suffering, letting others All Of Us, respond to her courage, her faith, her love for her daughter. 

When, in happier times, could Mama have brushed Louisa's hair, painted her toenails and hummed a tender theme of  gently comforting affection?  In their previous "lives" in each others' worlds, but not, they would have both been too busy.  They'd be thinking of each other, going about their respective days, jointly mourning the beloved Denise.  As Life would have it, however, DeeDee and Mikey, sibling presence within Louisa, folds together what has been the loss in that "world" with salvation in this: tenuous wisps of life together saved by the will to love and be loved.  A mother's decision to capture what they share, made sacred, celebrated...not what we would have chosen but what is. 

During my own darkest days, I kept a diary, wrote out my feelings and spilled emotion in a lonely noteook, handwritten entries that sometimes penned themselves as I watched my hand move the pen - detached and objectively reading that which had been written from another part of my being to my self in the misery of the moment.  Crazy?  Can't say for sure: but I learned that one comes back from crazy, caught at the last split second, by a network of caring friends who call, visit and comfort.  Then the path to crazy becomes a "known" we never re-visit.  Detached, Miserable goes onward ever, into that tangenital universe, like another color of light, blinking a warning more useful than the Big Bang.  Did We All see that?  And instantly, our focus is centered / advised / forewarned.  Making it right is our only desire.

By the Divinity Within, we are all together, processing away the suffering, noting the breeze of Spring lightening our hearts and rejoicing as though we, too, post a bit of ourselves on vigil in the nursing home, to sustain our Sister, Betty Jean, in the only thing that truly matters, Louisa's choice to live.